The festive season is associated with beautifully wrapped presents underneath Christmas trees, magical sparkling lights, dining tables filled to the brim with food, quality time with family and friends, elves on shelves being funny pranksters, and much more. It’s the time of year you look forward to all year round. But it’s also the time when an online psychologist is at his/her busiest.
That’s because Christmas brings up a lot of things for many people that don’t often get featured in your favourite Hallmark movie. For many, Christmas is a complicated time, navigating challenging emotions. Here’s why:
We Have No One to Share a Christmas Table With
Remember COVID, the global pandemic? Well, did you know that loneliness is the biggest and most prevalent global pandemic, as declared by the WHO in 2023? AND that it has only been on the increase since?
In a complex and busy world with complex relationship dynamics and an ever-increasing tendency for connection to rarely occur offline, it’s easy to become isolated and lonely. And before you say that loneliness can’t be compared to COVID because of all the fatalities, did you know that in another study conducted by the WHO, 1 in every 6 people will actually die because of it? That’s more than 870,000 deaths a year!
Broken-heart syndrome, strokes, suicides, dementia… All these and more have been proven to have a direct link to loneliness. And the risk only increases as one gets older.
What You Can Do:
Become that Christmas table filled with laughter and joy for someone who might be spending this Christmas alone. You can also make a donation to local foundations providing Christmas lunches to groups of people who have nowhere else to go.
These donations also don’t have to be financial. You can volunteer gifts, food, or even your time to help out on the day. It’s also very important not to get hyper-fixated on Christmas Day. There are many buddy and big-brother/sister-type programs that provide support and friendship to those suffering from loneliness all throughout the year.
And if you are one of the people feeling lonely and having nowhere to go this Christmas, please reach out. You can speak to an online psychologist as well as join a few of these programs and organised events. If you don’t know where to look, an online psychologist will make a few local recommendations.
It Reminds Us of the People Who Will Never Sit at Our Christmas Tables Ever Again
Grief is a pain that comes in waves. And at Christmas, this wave can be a tsunami. The empty seat, the lack of their overall presence, the silence of their laughter… Christmas can be a stark reminder of what we’ve lost and will never be able to have again.
What You Can Do:
It’s incredibly important to work through your grief and properly process all the emotions. If not, it can negatively impact those around you. It can also be difficult to talk openly and freely express your experience to family and friends. That’s why we always recommend reaching out to a professional.
By chatting to an online psychologist, you can also do so in the comfort of your own home and not necessarily be restricted to standard office hours (grief doesn’t care about workdays or sticking to official operating hours).
We Have to Get Used to a “New Normal” When It Comes to Our Christmas Tables
This year, your Christmas table may not look like it usually does if you’ve been through a separation or a divorce. From now on, you’re most likely to share Christmases with the ex. This means Christmases when there are no children sitting at your table or excitedly tearing into the Christmas presents underneath the tree.
Needless to say, this “new normal” will take some time to get used to, and those first couple of Christmases will undoubtedly be the toughest.
What You Can Do:
You will need to find new Christmas traditions for the years you don’t have the children. Whether it’s a special type of “me-time” Christmas, booking holidays around the world, or just joining others for Christmas celebrations, there is a way to navigate this challenging time.
You will also find divorced parent support groups hosting special events this time of year to curb the loneliness and the longing. Chat to an online psychologist if you feel like the emotions are too overwhelming. Or even if you just need some practical advice on how to get through your first Christmases.
Once again, an online psychologist will also be able to recommend you to a few local support groups.
We’re Navigating a New Christmas Table Layout
A lot can happen in a year, and your Christmas table layout can change significantly. Someone can find a new partner. Or a new marriage could mean a venue change this Christmas. Although this doesn’t sound like a lot to deal with in the bigger scheme of things, these can come with some challenges.
The family might need to navigate a new relationship with a new partner. Or getting used to new traditions in a new house.
What You Can Do:
There’s not much one can do about these life changes, except for practising good communication skills. Discuss the family Christmas, the expectations, the changes, the roles, and the responsibilities.
And if you’re struggling to deal with some of the changes or emotions that come up, please reach out to a professional, such as an online psychologist. They will be able to provide guidance and help you properly process your emotions.
There Won’t Be Any Presents Underneath the Christmas Tree
In fact, for some, still having a roof over their heads is an uncertainty this year. Many will be facing severe financial troubles this festive season. It could be because they’re drowning underneath a mountain of debt. Or simply don’t have any funds left after all the debits and monthly expenses. OR someone has lost a job.
Whatever it is, it could result in a house where the Christmas spirit may not be felt this year. It can be especially tough with children in the house. No parent wants to disappoint expectant and excited children who have placed a lot of faith in Santa Claus delivering.
What You Can Do:
Firstly, this level of extreme anxiety cannot be carried alone. You will have to speak to a professional to help you navigate the situation and the emotions associated with it. Secondly, focus on celebrating Christmas in ways that don’t mean cleaning out the stores or swiping that credit card into oblivion.
You’ll actually be surprised at how many free and fun ways there are to celebrate Christmas. Many of these also promote spending quality time together as a family. For example, you can make your own Christmas decorations using only materials found in the house. This can include materials such as toilet paper rolls, plastic wrappers, grocery bags, etc.
Make each other personalised gifts. Or give gifts of service, such as a pamper package that consists of a massage and turn-down service. Just let your imagination go, and you’ll find plenty of ways to have a merry Christmas that’s not tied to money.
Celebrating Christmas Becomes an Afterthought in the Struggle Between Life and Death
Some won’t be celebrating Christmas at home this year. They’ll be sitting in the hospital by the bedside of a loved one. When one starts celebrating little wins, such as good test results or the flutter of an eyelid, the tinsel of a Christmas tree loses its shimmer.
When one is caught up in a fight between life and death, the others’ presence in your life becomes the only present you want or need.
What You Can Do:
Even in such an extremely difficult situation, we need to appreciate the new perspective and appreciation for life and one another that it gives us. There’s no reason why the focus should be on celebrating Christmas, once we realise what really matters the most.
That being said, many hospitals also understand the healing power of joy and laughter. So, they will often go through a lot of trouble to provide patients and their families with some sense of Christmas. It can be carolers, decorations, gift-giving, and more. Needless to say, it’s done with the utmost respect and only with those who wish to participate.
You’re not Alone this Christmas!
Whether being physically alone or struggling with any of the other scenarios mentioned above, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. Many people are going through the same challenges and difficult emotions (even if it may not look or feel that way).
Please take the advice mentioned in the different scenarios. And please don’t hesitate to reach out to the professionals. They are always willing to lend a helping hand, a listening ear, and provide a few words of wisdom.
You’ll also be glad to know that online psychologists at Personal Online Therapy will be on call throughout the festive season, 24/7! So, you’re more than welcome to contact us at info@personalonlinetherapy.com or by completing the form below in order for us to reach out to you.
